To answer the question “can FWB work?” I’d have to say a resounding “perhaps”. I share the reader’s desire to define what “work” means. It calls for a time frame, too, over which this buddy/sex partner thing elapses. And 40 frickin years! that tops the scales! If “work” means both parties get what they want from the other in a sexual scenario and we’re not talking commercial enterprises (see kissing, above) then, sure.

If you mean, sex that leads to a more enriching relationship, then again, sure. If its just me screw you, you screw me, what’s on the tube? then not so much.

I’d prefer a friend that was a friend (speaking in terms of the opposite sex) and a relationship where sex wasn’t the motivating factor for continuing the relationship. Sex for me is for intimacy and bonding and some explosive satisfaction.

I don’t think we are wired for being bestest buddies with a non-bonded (OK, that sounded kinkier than I intended) sex partner. If they decide they want to be friends and discontinue the sex part, are they still “buddies”? That sounds pretty shallow. Self-serving. I know that’s judgmental of me.

OK, I’m old fashion in that regard, and back to the time element, I had my share of tradin’ in the lady for a new one every few weeks or months and I’ve been with the same one, now, for a lot of decades. I could be accused of being a serial monogamist for the early days, but I really was looking for “the one”. I get it that sometimes girls want to get laid and don’t feel so up for the bar and bed scene. But why pretend there’s friendship there when it wouldn’t be there without the sex? Its just a total lack of commitment–again my judgment. How about a veejayjay with benefits? Sounds more authentic.

The Benefits part has changed somewhat during my married life but the friends part hasn’t. Don’t get old! But if you decide to– have a lot of woman friends–ones that don’t depend on sex to keep the relationship alive. Women are awesome as friends. They keep you honest. Or close, in my case.

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FirstName Morata9
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Topic revision: r3 - 12 Apr 2021, JamesHarder
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